OK, LET ME SEE IF I GOT THIS RIGHT...
• IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.
• IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.
• IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.
• IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.
• IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.
• IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.
• IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.

•IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET:
•1 - A JOB
•2 - A DRIVERS LICENSE
•3 - SOCIAL SECURITY CARD
•4 - WELFARE
•5 - FOOD STAMPS
•6 - CREDIT CARDS
•7 - SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE
•8 - FREE EDUCATION
•9 - FREE HEALTH CARE
•10 - A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON
•11 - BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE AND THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY'S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DON'T GET ENOUGH RESPECT.

I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE I HAD A FIRM GRASP ON THE SITUATION...